An Ode To 2019

An Ode to 2019

This year has been a wild ride that has felt like its been the ultimate test of time. 
I’m not even sure where to start with thugs energy there is simply so much to say. 

2019 sent us on an adventure. One that would challenge us with ups and downs.
One that taught us the true meaning of light and dark. One that shed years off of our lives…. LITERALLY. It took our past and made it stand out so proud and so prominent that we had to face it. There was absolutely no running from this adventure. 

2019 broke us open. 
It broke us open in ways we didn’t know were possible. 
It broke us open to experiencing greater love, joy and bliss. 
It broke us open to new ways of thinking and being. 
It shook us of our old patterns and deeply rooted beliefs we held so tight. 

2019 made us uncomfortable. 
It did this so we would grow. 

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So we would grow past the limits of our comfort and into this new decade a new person. A new updated version of ourselves. A person who was always meant to thrive and become whole in this lifetime, in this world. 

2019 prepared us for what we are about to build. 
It prepared us for what is about to come. 

2019 was the ultimate expansion we needed to go through in order to make it to this new phase of our lives. 

I have stated so many times over how this energy has been breaking us down in order to build us up. I said this over and over again…. It probably sounded like a broken record. BUT – isn’t that what 2019 felt like? 

And as much as I would love to say the discomfort is over…. I can’t. 

I can’t say that because the truth is discomfort is continual and will be VERY prominent in 2020 and moving forward. THIS IS THE NEW AGE WORLD we are embarking on. THIS IS THE ENERGY MOVING FORWARD. 

I have had a handful of lessons this year- as many of us have.

A major theme I have noticed for MANY of us has been that this has been a year of push and pull. It’s been that of loss and grief. It’s been letting go and seeing and feeling the energy of death and rebirth. It’s been uncomfortable.  

Being uncomfortable is how humans grow. 

And that’s often forced upon us from outer forces we simply cannot explain. 

Often times it’s unfair. It often hurts and feels like you won survive the worst of it.
I mean… 2019 am I right? 

The one thing I know for sure is that this year in the muck of it all was one of the most pivotal years of our lives. We learned so much and grew expanationally. 

We have met ourselves in the light and in the dark. We learned how to support and love ourselves as well as those of others around us. We experienced a ray of emotions that we weren’t even aware we could feel. 

SO….

THIS IS AN ODE TO 2019!

This is my ode to 2019. 

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2019 you handed me lessons on a platter. You mixed up a bag of emotions and let me feel them all. I can truly say I rode this epic and terrifying roller coaster of life in 365 days. I wanted so badly to get off and every time I fell completely to my knees and begged to be done with the challenge, you sent me a gift. You sent me a messenger. You sent me a teacher who gave me the strength to keep going. 

My word for the year was LOVE. 

I wanted to know what LOVE was. True love. The Love that I felt I hadn’t ever experienced before. My goal was to open my heart fully and let myself dive into all feelings. 

I wanted to experience the emotions of life…. Well, THAT is exactly what I got. 

This year I had shingles. I moved out into my own little studio apartment. House sat for a month. My bank account was sucked dry. I HUSTLED hard-working multiple different jobs with children at once. I became a SOLE GIRLS Coach. I was on TWO Podcasts that I LOVE. My blogs were way more vulnerable. I quit drinking intentionally for 6 months. I went on two camping trips. Surfed some REAL and METAPHORICAL waves. Backed my car into a ditch. Stepped up my yoga game. I had the most anxiety/ panic attacks ever in my lifetime. Opened my heart to love. Grieved losses. Mustered up the courage to do photoshoots. Flew home three times. I questioned and compared my life to many people on the internet. Doubted myself regularly. I cried daily for weeks. Wondered if I would ever feel happy again. Laughed with friends. Developed a much deeper spiritual practice and learned to TRUST, use and harness my intuition. I put in the work to delete old patterns in relationships and truly honour my self- worth, values and needs.

AND… I learned how to truly love and accept myself for who I am.

HERE ARE MY TOP LESSONS OF 2019.

HUSTLE only gets you so far. 
FEAR IS YOUR GREEN LIGHT.
YOU CAN and will come in contact with the person of your dreams. 
OPENING YOUR HEART is the bravest thing you can do and it will deepen all your connections. 
SUPPRESSING EMOTIONS only gets you further from where you want to be. 
MY EMOTIONS are my SUPERPOWER.
I AM A HIGHLY INTUITIVE being who is here to serve a bigger purpose than what she even knows and IM INTO THAT.
UNBLOCKING my subconscious is the key to making my dreams come true.
THE DARKNESS inside of me will always be there, learn to dance with it and observe but not judge. 
IVE BEEN PLAYING SMALL for far too long now. 
I DO NOT need alcohol to have fun.
WHEN I SAY NO to things I don’t want to do, I create the space for ALIGNMENT to take place.
SOME DAYS will hurt like hell and other days will feel blissful.
EMERGE YOURSELF in the moments that feel really good, because are a gift. 
BE VULNERABLE with yourself and others.
GROWTH is uncomfortable but so is staying the same.
BE GRATEFUL for the connections you get to experience even if for a short period of time. 
I AM SUPPORTED AND LOVED and have cheerleaders in every corner of the world. 
I AM NOT ALONE.

2019 gave us all a handful of lessons unique to us all. 

This year brought up all the stuff we had been ignoring for quite some time. 

It brought it to the surface so that we could once and for all let it go. Like really let it go. Because it can’t come with you into this new decade. 

You’ve come too far, to only come this far.

Let the doubt dissipate. 
This life is yours to create. 

You’ve done the nitty-gritty work, now its time to rebuild into the future of your dreams. 

Cheers 2019.
The year of subconscious reordering. 
The year of reorganizing the puzzle of our lives.
The year of emotions and creativity. 
The year the seeds were planted for a better and brighter future. 

2020, we’re ready. 

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Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

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