It feels impossible.
Feels SO FRIGGAN hard.
Feels like the rug is pulled from under you and you can’t put it back.
It feels like you’re holding on to the last bit of string dangling in front of you.
For me, letting go feels like my human self leaves my body and my inner child takes over and throws an absolute temper tantrum, crying and screaming. Heartbroken.
We’re not all like this. This is what I’ve come to realize the more “adulty” I’ve become. But for some, for some of us letting go is really effin hard.
It’s a process.
And that’s okay.
You see as children we all have our little personalities. We go about the world in our own ways, influenced by our environments, our families, eventually our friends, and relationships we have as young people. When we mix our nature and nurture this subconsciously settles into our bodies effecting how we are able to let go.
We are all different in how we behave. In how we deal with our emotions- yet we feel the same emotions. So why? Why is it so hard for some to let go, and easier for others?
I’m sure you’ve pondered this question in the midst of a big breakup. Or at some point in your life. Because no matter what the situation, life calls for change. The most inevitable constant. Change forces us to let go. To move forward. To shed.
And that is really really beautiful. It’s beautiful because we get to grow. We get to become more. We get to experience new things. New opportunities. New versions of ourselves.
But it’s also a grieving process.
It’s saying goodbye.
It’s closing a chapter, not knowing if you’ll ever reread it again.
Not knowing what’s on the next page.
The uncertainty is unclear. Maybe even uncomfortable.
So why is letting go so hard ?
1. THE UNKNOWN .
What lies ahead is often bigger and better than what we left behind but that’s hard to see a lot of the times. Because often we can’t see the new beginning before it happens. So the unknown of what lies ahead is scary. It can feel like maybe there isn’t anything better ahead. The unknown leaves us questioning the universe. Our faith. Our hopes and dreams. It leaves us wondering why we had to let go. It doesn’t leave much room for clarity. Because if you are anything like me- the universe/ higher power, forces you out of something MUCH BEFORE you’re ready BECAUSE if it didn’t…. you wouldn’t let go. So it does it for you. And that, that is hard.
Not having control over when the letting go happens. Not having control on the situation in front of you. Not being able to control the next outcome. Not having control over the fact that you were invested in something that no longer is part of you.
Releasing this control aspect is essential. It’s surrendering the let go and being okay with what’s in front of you. That doesn’t mean it’s not hard. Because…. boy is it ever. Surrendering to letting go feels like you are releasing your grip. You are completely letting it leave your life.
To me letting go has always represented some sort of difficult ending. Where cords have been cut and loose ends were never mended. So in that type of let go it has meant moving on and forgetting while attempting to forgive.
Sometimes the memories are good though. Sometimes letting go happens to good things too. And for me personally, that makes it harder. It makes it harder because I don’t want to forget. I don’t want those good memories to fade so I can no longer feel them so vividly in my body and mind. I don’t want to forget, so I don’t want to let go.
Goodbyes are hard.
There’s never an easy way to say goodbye. And we often come against these situations where we say goodbye when chapters of our lives come to an end. You can feel it building sometimes, but sometimes you can’t. In either way there’s an energy of sadness, of grief.
Letting go reminds me of saying bye.
Goodbyes are essentially letting go of a version we knew. We lived. We felt.
Goodbyes are the final piece. It makes it real. Makes it feel legit and like the ending has a finale. And even when these endings are happy, even when they are because we’re moving on to something so much greater and part of our journey. We still are looking and saying goodbye to something that was so close to our hearts. Even in these moments, the memories flash through your mind reminding you of what got you to exactly where you’re standing in that goodbye.
That’s hard. It’s so hard.
It’s so beautiful.
It’s reflection met with moving on.
It’s saying goodbye and getting ready to walk a new path.
To move forward into the unknown.
5. MOVING FORWARD
The final final.
The ending feels final. But really. The moving on is the final piece.
It’s where you have let go, but you still have an emotional attachment somewhere inside. And there’s no telling how long that lasts.
It’s like moving on gives you a new breath. A new air. But it’s scary there. Because you haven’t walked this path before. It’s uncomfortable. And we as humans love to seek comfort. In people. In places. In jobs. In life. So when you’re forced to move on, it’s so natural to want to go backwards. To want to feel connected to your comfort. To that thing you’re letting go of.
And that’s okay.
Because it’s a process.
Because this is life.
Letting go is hard AF.
It’s a cycle.
It’s something we will endure, grow through and continue with throughout our entire lives. And it’ll always look different. Feel different. It’ll remind you of times you’ve let go before. It’ll show you your inner most strength. It’ll bring up emotions you didn’t even know you had. You’ll come out the other side a new person.
And that’s hard.
That’s hard because you don’t know that person. That new path. That next chapter.You don’t know it because it hasn’t been written yet.And in order to write it, you have to let go.
So I see you. I hear you.
I understand in every capacity how unbelievably uncomfortable this phase is for you. I may not have experienced your let go, but I can tell you this. I can tell you that within every let go I’ve had, I’ve hit the ground. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. I’ve experienced gratitude beyond belief.
I’ve found emotions that were hidden and experienced love and support that never would have came without those ‘let go’s’.
My heart feels for you if you’re in this place. My heart sends you love. Compassion. Strength. And the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You’ve got this.
This let go, is your breakthrough.
It’s your calling into something new.
And I know it’s not easy, but you’re ready and you can do this.
I know you can.
Let go, and welcome in the new.
You’re ready now.