Letting go.

In this lifetime we are met with the inevitable.
The only constant that this human experience gives us.
We are met with change.
Everything in this world is constantly changing, growing and evolving.
Even when we choose to turn a blind eye to it.
It is.

Change comes with big lessons.

Often in times of change we find ourselves unsure of our footing, maybe a bit off balance and questioning our life’s purpose and paths.

I mean navigating the 20’s is a pool of change. It’s all about finding yourself in this world. Navigating BIG change what feels like yearly, hey sometimes even daily.

The term Adulting didn’t just come out of no where, right?!

So as we’re here trying to figure out ourselves and where we “fit in”, or better yet how we want to be seen in this world. We are also trying to learn all the things that the world throws our way. Often times as soon as we think we have it figured out, a new wave comes in and BAM leaves us in the dark again reevaluating life.

So in these moments what I’ve noticed is that I’m constantly being asked on a deeper level what I want.

It’s almost like the Universe is yelling out to me and saying “Courtney, get clear on what you want.” If I’m questioning myself maybe I’m not on the right path, maybe something does need to change? Or maybe I’m being pushed to actually work for what I really want, instead of run the other way?

Then in comes the pebbles, the rocks and if you really don’t listen the big BOULDERS that say HEY WAKE UP SISTER– if you don’t change this WE WILL FOR YOU.

And let me tell you from first hand experience- when the universe changes something for you it’s not easy. It’s uncomfortable and feels like something being completely ripped from you.

The tower moments.

It’s in these times where I’ve had to learn one of the hardest lessons.

Letting go

Letting go isn’t easy.
I don’t truly know anyone who loves letting things go- except maybe Marie Kondo.

We grow attached to things in our lives.
They create meaning, memories, feelings and ultimately find a place in our hearts.

Now I’m not saying I am a hoarder by any means. In fact I believe that by letting go you actually create space for new things to enter your life. That includes anything and everything from material items like clothing all the way to relationships, homes, careers, and even those beliefs deep within you.

When we let go – we create space for the universe to give us something we have been desiring.

Now I just want to backtrack for a quick second…. I am not a hoarder, no.
And I live in a clean space. I donate my clothes at least 3 times a year.
I get rid of “things” frequently.
BUT when it comes to letting go of BIG things in my life such as relationships- it takes me a long time.

I’m sure we have all heard of attachment styles. And if you haven’t I highly recommend looking into it. This has taught me SO MUCH about how I attach to things in my life.

This is my pattern…

When I get close to someone or something like a dream I have worked really hard at getting… at first I proceed with caution. ALMOST like I’m self sabotaging thinking “this cannot be real”. So I proceed slowly toward that thing… just in case you know, it’s not real.

THEN when I feel my heart open to it and allow myself to feel all the emotional connection, I notice myself start to feel safe there. I feel like it’s become something that’s part of me, my reality and I don’t want it to EVER go.

But within this pattern, this then happens.

When it’s time to let it go- or actually even before hand. I grip.

I can often feel that thing slipping through the cracks of my fingers as I hold on tighter and tighter. Like I’ll do anything to keep it here. I pull tighter often causing friction and stale unwanted energy exchange.

I know I’m not alone in this.
I know there are many people with this style of attachment.
Which is why I’m writing this.

I often go back and forth between Anxious and Avoidant styles.

So why do we do this?

Why can’t we just let go when it’s the right time?
Why can’t we just learn to surrender and allow what’s coming next?

Well it’s scary. It’s unknown. It’s uncomfortable.
And how can something that once felt so good leave me here?
Leave me in this place?

Here’s what I’m learning….

Learning to let go is something that life gives us so we can grow. So we can allow our souls to evolve. No one ever said that it would be an easy job. But it’s where we find the most growth in the uncomfortable states. This is where letting go comes in.

It’s uncomfortable to say goodbye. It hurts to know you’re letting the grip slowly dissipate. It feels heavy to leave something behind that once felt so good dancing around in your heart.

Those memories of that thing, they will always be there. Those are the moments that you can allow yourself to be grateful for as you move on into the next part of your souls journey.

Letting go is an actual energetic exchange between your soul and whatever that thing is that is trying to leave.

It’s hard sometimes. There’s no doubt about that. And it is happening for a reason.

Letting go sets you free all to allow something new, bigger, and even more in alignment with who you have become to enter your life.

As you change, grow and evolve you will be asked to let go.

You’ll be asked to say goodbye to relationships, people, places, things, and it’s all because of all the work you’ve done to get you to this new level of you.

Letting go creates space.
Letting go allows new to enter.

Letting go of the old version of yourself is a process.
It doesn’t happen over night. It doesn’t happen in a day, it takes time.

And in this process you are allowed to grieve.
You are allowed to feel unsure, uncomfortable and all the unknowns.
But trust that you are soon going to welcome in a new chapter that you’ve been dreaming of.

Yes letting go can be painful, but gripping sometimes hurts way more.

Hold the memories high within your heart.
Allow what is, just to be what is.
Move through the motions.

And remember that these things you’re letting go of, if they are truly meant for you they will not pass you by. Just like a boomerang, sometimes you have to let things go and let them come back to you in their own time.

Trust.
Believe.
Breathe.

And just know that these will go but the memories will stay forver.

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