ADULTING aka BALANCE?

I’m learning how to balance life.
The act or “art” of it all.

Understanding that the key to life is balance and being so aware of when I need to centre myself in order to successfully balance what’s on my plate.

This time of year I feel it hard.

The list of all the things from the past seem to show up, the things to do for the future are running through my mind constantly.

My masculine energy steers as my feminine side feels lost and unheard.

I feel the pressure right now to create a change in my life- but I also am I aware I’m trying to control it.

A friend said to me “Court, sometimes change just creates itself – you don’t have to do anything but let it show up.”

UHHHH WHAT! – was my first thought.

But I really sat with this. I started to feel into it and understood that she was right.

I’ve always created the change in my life. After all we are the co-creators.

But when something feels like it doesn’t fit anymore, I’ve ALWAYS made a drastic change. Moving countries, cities, jobs etc.

This time is different.

This time it feels like I’m waiting for the amazing view at the top of the mountain that’s taken me years to hike up. It’s like I know it’s coming and can feel it but I’m looking for ways to make it come faster and draining my energy by not allowing it to just come at the right time and enjoy the journey on the way up.

Balance is finding a way to mix pleasure with pain.
Balance is finding a way to experience dark and light.
Balance is finding a way to DO and BE.
It’s finding a way to be present and still as well as fiercely go after life.

I struggle some days. I look at my to do list and my heart feels like it’s about to explode from my chest.

Some days I go to yoga and feel like I’m floating down the street and so present that I feel everything in life is beautiful.

It shows up in our lives in different ways.

For me when I know I’m going through a big shift internally or externally my balance is off.

I can’t seem to hold my poses at yoga, my sleep patterns go wacky, I can’t remember my dreams, my belly bloats and I look 6 months pregnant and my mind comes up with some pretty crazy scenarios of “what if’s” that the future may hold.

At yoga today- I said thank you to the teacher and let her know that today practice was hard for me. My balance was off and I was trying not to be hard on myself.

She said “that happens sometimes, and when that personally happens for me I ask myself how am I out of balance in life? Do I have to much going on?”

I nodded and smiled…. this was what I needed to hear.

I’m a doer- I want to change the things in my life that are no longer in alignment and I want to change them LIKE YESTERDAY!

I want to live in both masculine and feminine energy. And I want to feel the ease and flow of allowing my life to unfold the way it’s suppose to. The art and teachings of balance.

So how do we find Balance?
Some would call this adulting. Trying to manage and find a way to fit all the pieces of your life together. Finding a way to make them flow and work together in harmony. The lesson of a lifetime.

Do we ever truly figure it out?
As a 28 year old- I feel like I look around at other people who are older and think “ wow they have it figured out!” But do they really?
Are all the important parts of them balanced?

As a 28 year old, I want to thrive and grow in my career. I want to be social and meet new people who share similar interests. I want to put more love and emphasis in my current relationships. I want to find my soulmate for crying out loud (which by the way is like finding a needle in haystack and feels like I need to dedicate hours to swiping.)
I want to be financially free from all my school debt and have a bank account that allows me to buy the extra guac!
I want to be able to travel and live my best cultured life near and far. I want to feel spiritually connected and have practices that allow me to deepen my experience and intuition.
I want to be fit, healthy and strong. I want to live an active lifestyle and I want my body, mind and soul to all be in that alignment.

What I’m trying to say here is I want to live in a state of BALANCE…. you know the whole “work, life, balance” thing.

I want to thrive in all aspects in my life and not compromise my mental or physical health along the way.
Isn’t this the point of it all?

Today my intention is to find my flow.
To breathe deeply into the process of all my unknown questions.
To let go of the worry of what’s next or there’s still so much to do.

I will repeat to myself “ all will get done in perfect timing”.

Side note and lesson from Mr. Burns.
No… not the Simpson’s character.
My Dad.

He said to me once… “I think the point is to experience life. So maybe instead of work, life, balance… it should be life, work, balance.”

This hit me deep. And it’s a lesson we should all think about and learn from.

Leave your worries at the door.
Balance between go and flow.
You’ve got this.