The social media conundrum

After going to yoga, grabbing a coffee and going for a walk- I drove home and had this overwhelming sense of loneliness rush over me. I spent a good 2 hours of my morning crying.

There was definitely a trigger point and as I watched people walking with their families, partners and friends out in the sun, I smiled and then and thought to myself “I’m happy for them.” But as I drove home and was by myself in my room it all came pouring out.

Most days I’m pretty happily independent. In the past I’ve loved every bit of my ultimate freedom- not having anyone to answer to, not having to adjust my plans to fit anyone else. It’s a gift and I’ve been so grateful for it as I know it’s not something everyone has the luxury of having. But the older I get the harder and harder this is getting.

I’m craving connection.
I’m craving love.
I’m craving belonging.

This started to get me thinking and looping back around to social media.
Why you may ask?
Well as I stopped crying and grabbed my phone to pull up Instagram, I stopped and thought why am I doing this?
If I’m being completely honest- social media is my number 1 form of connection these days.
(Putting that down in writing I’m starting to see how that poses a slight issue.)

I’ve had conversations with people in person and via Instagram, texting etc. all around this topic. I’ve felt myself irritated by the comments about how social media is disconnecting us all and taking away our social skills.

It took a while but I realised that the reason it bugged me so much was because a) this is my main source of connection SO DONT KNOCK IT and b) because I know deep in my heart that to be true.

It’s such a catch 22.

We are so lucky that we have this medium.
It opens us up to learning and connecting with people all around the globe.
We get to seek knowledge and understanding of topics that we don’t get the opportunity to study in school AND we actually get to see other humans (via screen) who actually like the same things we do! That to me is so innovative, freeing and exciting.

We are the generation that has the touch of the world at our fingertips.

BUT THEN WHY ARE WE STILL SO LONELY?

Point b) because I know deep in my heart this is true.

HUMANS need touch and physical connections. We need to be able to see each other IRL (in real life) and hear each other laugh and cry. We need to be able to hear the voice of another human being without the glass screen in front of it.
Because without it – we can’t fully feel whole.

How can an object that can fit into my hand bring me everything I humanly need?
The answer is it can’t.

I’m beyond grateful and love all of the connecting I can do with my phone. Without it I wouldn’t be able to live as far away from home as I do. I wouldn’t be able to express my writing the same. I wouldn’t be able to keep connected with my best friends who live in different areas of the world. I wouldn’t learn about things like Astrology, spirituality, or relationships in the diverse ways that I do.
I’ve come to realise there are so many people who are more like me than I thought because of this beautiful tool called a “smartphone”.

So moving forward what can we do ?
How do we take this to the next level?
How do we cultivate relationships with the people on our Instagram feed?
How do we go from screen connections to real life connections?

These are all questions I’ll keep asking myself and consciously make decisions going forward based around this.

We’re the generation that gets to decide how this plays out and set the stage for the generations under us.

I say it’s time to take all we’ve learned about being authentic online and base it in reality while still holding space for social media to bring us more like minded connections we can continue to learn and grow from.

Let’s make these online groups actually MEET in real life.
Let’s go to in person podcast tapings.
Let’s use our voice to tell the Instagram influencers or teachers we follow to hold in person events.
Better yet – let’s create our own!

Living in Vancouver I’ve had the pleasure of attending events around the city hosted by and also feature many social media “influencers” who’s work I follow.
I prefer to use the term mentors or teachers for the ones that I’ve gotten to see/ meet because of the content that they create.
They inspire their audience through putting out authentic and conscious work.

I’ve been to live podcast shows, woman’s circles, entrepreneur events, and even been to a few events based around spirituality and developing intuition.

Through these events I got to meet the people who I see through my screen and also some really amazing humans who share similar interests.
If it weren’t for social media …. these opportunities wouldn’t have been as easily possible – if at all.

In summary I think it’s important that we are mindful of how much time we are using social media to connect vs in real life. We should also show gratitude for all the doors that are opening to us because of it. We need to choose consciously who we decide to follow and think about what our intentions are by following them.

AND WE ALL need to remember that we are all humans! Wether your using social media to serve the world for the better and positively create a powerful change or just posting photos because that’s what you love to do, we are all the same.

So choose your feed wisely and connect with the people who light you up!

Let’s use this as a tool to enhance our relationships not make them worse.

Besides you never know – your next DM might be the one that’s changes your life.

😉😉😉

📸 courtesy of
@_pen_to_paper