Dear Venus, That Was SO Retrograde.

What I learned from Venus Rx

Venus retrograde 2018 …. you were a doozy.
You came into my life to test me beyond belief. To pull the covers off once and for all.

You taught me more than I thought possible. You not only showed me what was hidden in the shadows but shoved it in my face so it was clear as day for me to see.
You were intense yet insightful.
You got me to dig deep – sift through my layers and make my subconscious, conscious. I tried to stay aware and feel all my feelings…. even when it hurt. I tried not attaching to these feelings and just ride them out in order to heal them fully.
You came in like a meteor and shook me to my core.

In classic Venus Retrograde style you dug up my past, the beliefs that have held me stuck in old pattern all related to self worth.
WORTH. What am I worth?
The question that continued to pop up over and over again those few weeks.
Financially where do I keep myself small?
What am I willing to accept in love and how that’s impacted my worth. How to be worthy for myself and value my own beliefs and what’s good for me and my heart. All questions I was forced to find the answers to.

You had me dance with my fears around intimacy. Showing me signs that I am not fully recovered from past hurts and old trauma wounds. Helping me to understand what still needs to be healed.
I witnessed myself playing into the fears of my ego based around spending money to feel “pretty” or “feminine”. Finally realizing that I’m worthy and deserving of spending money on my appearance so it matches and radiates how I feel on this inside. How self care days are just as important as work days, painted nails and lush face masks do just as much for your soul as for your appearance, and how a new hair dooo can be a perfect dose of fresh medicine.

Ya see , wether it’s because I’m incredibly self aware, highly intuitive, “woke” or just because I believe in the magic of the cosmos – this period of time helped me to uncover the old patterns keeping me stuck. Stuck in a place that was blocking me from living out my dreams and manifestations.

The strength I feel now moving into these last few weeks of 2018 is mind blowing. I can see the tests presenting themselves. Testing me of my worth and asking… have you really done the work ?
I can see the areas in my life where I still need to grow and expand. (You know those moments where we put our values on the back burner possibly to accommodate someone else …ya those – the fun ones 🙂 But everyday  that these present themselves, is a day that I get to practice standing in my worth and truly allowing my authenticity to shine. It’s not linear but it’s journey and that’s what makes it so empowering.

Venus … GIRL
You got me good !